MOUNTAIN/DESERT RESEARCHER

LUCERNE VALLEY

When Grandma Goes To Court..... (Submitted by Pegs R. of Lucerne Valley 3/2008) ...  .. ...LaLawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer....In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'... ... The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'... ... She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a ... ..youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'.. .. The defense attorney nearly died... The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ' If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.. . .

Marcia, center, gayly participating in one of Lucerne Valley's festivities.

A Glimpse Sketching

Author Marcia Feese

by Pat Onorato

A woman of many talents, affable, always willing to help others and a volunteer for all seasons, the perennial writer, has been recognized by L.V. Writers" Ink twice as, ‘‘Author of the Year.’’ She is Marcia Feese, who is presently completing two novels targeted for publication sometime this year.  The author of ‘‘Famished Heart,’’ Marcia, has also produced an anthology of short stories and poems for publication as well researching and working on a book about The Native American Legends.
As an active volunteer in the community, Marcia is a founding member of the L. V. Writers’’ Ink and has served as vice president. She designs all of their artwork including business cards, invitations to events and flyers.
"I have loved telling stories and writing poetry from my earliest recollection," Marcia said.
Included among some of her speaking engagements are: The Lucerne Valley Library, Seniors with Inquiring Minds in Apple Valley (S.W.I.M.) and the California Writer’s Club (High Desert Branch).

AN AWARD WINNING ARTIST

Invited to the American Association of University Women’’s annual art show twice. Marcia looks forward to  participating in their 2008 show. Recognized also for her hobbies in the art of quilting, Teddy Bear making, and other arts and crafts such as gardening and genealogy, the author continues to fill her time with volunteer efforts wherever and whenever she sees a need.
A denizen of Kansas City, Missouri, her family settled in California where she attended El Camino Junior College, and later took additional courses. She has worked as an assistant aeronautical engineer, Chamber of Commerce office manager, assistant librarian, and graphic artist for several organizations, businesses and in a volunteer capacity.
"I enjoy doing volunteer work and have spent much of my life filling in when a need had to be met. It gives me great satisfaction to help others," the Author said..
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXMARCIA'S PASSION IS TO FURTHER LITERACY
She continued, "I especially like to help where it will further reading and literacy. That is why I like to assist    at the library . I think libraries and reading are essential, since reading is at the heart of everything we do."
A prominent resident of Lucerne Valley, California, Marcia lives with her husband David. They have three grown children and several grand and great-grand children. For further information on "Famished Heart" visit Marcia’s website:  http://www.sisp.net/~madfeese/FamishedWeb/

 

LIVING LIFE BACKWARDS...

Submitted by Peg R. of Lucerne Valley (8/07)

> > > > I want to live my next life backwards! > > > > You start out dead and get that out of the way > right > > off the bat. > > > > Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better > > every day. > > > > When you are kicked out of the home for being too > > healthy, you spend > > several > > years enjoying your retirement and collecting > benefit > > checks. > > > > When you start work, you get a gold watch on your > > first day. > > > > You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day > > until pretty soon > > you're > > too young to work. > > > > So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, > > drink, and party. > > > > As you get even younger, you become a kid again. > > > > > > > > You go to elementary school, play, and have no > > responsibilities. > > > > In a few years, you become a baby and everyone > runs > > themselves ragged > > keeping you happy. > > > > You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully > in > > luxury, spa-like > > conditions: central heating, room service on tap. > > > > Until finally...You finish off as an orgasm. > > > > I rest my case

 

Pat Onorato, 1990, Big Bear Lake with her loveable mascot, Heidi.

 

Local Author OffersThumbnail Sketch of "Famished Heart"
by Marci Feese

xxxx(There are all kinds of hunger.  "Famished Heart" is the compelling story of a young orphan's search for love and acceptance).  

In 1925 a tragic accident plunges nine-year-old Edna Modene Gillen into the role of orphan. She's left alone, but for a callous stepmother, who soon abandons her.  This fact-based novel chronicles her journey to find her place in the world after it is shattered by tragedy. Edna Modene must find a way to piece herself together like her cherished patchwork quilt, into a whole person with the ability to love and survive.

Set against a sprawling Oklahoma sky, her travels begin when she is cast off onto one unwilling relative after another. She experiences a stay in an Indian boys' school, where she comes face to face with a very ugly, personal truth. More life lessons are learned in an orphanage before Edna Modene finds a way to begin to forge her own destiny.

Join this young orphan girl as she struggles to learn the truth about love, beauty and prejudice. Share her search for a sense of self-worth. At times poignant, sad, funny, and uplifting, her story is liberally sprinkled with endearing characters,homespun wisdom, and treasured family recipes, from "Funeral Pie" to "Aunt Corrine's Mint Soother Bath Salts". Glimpses into the world of quilting, crafting and gardening richly texture this emotionally charged tale of Edna Modene's painful passage into womanhood.   Read a sample and reviews at: http://www.sisp.net/~madfeese/FamishedWeb (1/26/08)

Note: Author's biography better come as promised! PatO

 

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Lucerne Valley

FLORIST AND NURSERY

32090 Highway 18, Ste C - Lucerne Valley (In the Pueblo Plaza)

760-248-2922 or 1-800-781-2922

Owner Denny Charlton xxxxxxxxxxxx Visa and Mastercard

LUCERNE VALLEY GARAGE Automotive Repairs & Service /U-HAUL RENTALS Installation on all automotive needs; RV's, trucks, cars (old & new)

SMOG CHECK

Computerized Station, State of California Certified Inspector (Repair Facility)

AIR CONDITIONING: State Licensed/Service/Maintenance, Repairs
ENGINES: Computerized Engine Analysis / MAINTENANCE CHECKS: Lubes, Tuneups Brakes, Carburetors, Electrical System Repairs, Welding
******************
TOWING: All areas - Jobs Guaranteed - Free Estimates - Competitive Prices (Most Credit Cards accepted)

Mon.-Sat. 8am-5pm

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK Coffee & Ride Home when needed

32696 Hwy. 18, Lucerne Valley / 760-248-6644
===================================================

TRAVEL TO GERMANY
Dusseldorf Hotels
Check Availability On line in Dusseldorf hotels
http://www.dusseldorfhotels.net

LET'S SWING, BABY!

Darian: This is the picture of Pat's birthday swing. (She's going on 74, almost three quarters of a century old).

xx Darian: These are the millions of parts to assemble. Began at 7:30pm, finished at 1:45 am. Pat does not know how to give up! xxxxx

xxxx Darian: And this is the fully assembledswing set , complete with awning and bookcase/table. Pat will admit that she couldn't have done it without me! xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Napa Auto Parts, Lucerne Valley Auto Parts. America's largest auto parts inventory plus over 6,500 stores Nationwide. If it's for a vehicle , we have it at competitive prices! We pride ourselves on customer satisfaction. We Keep America Running. Located at: 32769 Highway 18 in Lucerne Valley. 760-248-7864. Most major credit cards accepted.

"Friendship Photo Gallery"
Martine trys her arms at ballet!

Herman: I'm your baby, mama.>>>XXXhXXXXXWho are you, you ugly runt?"Beulah"

NOTARY PUBLIC SERVICES
Minnie Clarkx
760-248-7298

Each day, for me, is like a mellow song; froth with mystery and definitely off-key.

Sky Village Outdoor Market Place in beautiful Yucca Valley. Acres of Bargains...A great cafe with home-cooking fixin's too. Just an old fashioned swap meet. The friendliest place on earth! Antiques & Collectibles, New & Used...No admission or parking fees. Fridays 8am-Noon, Saturdays & Sundays 5:30am til ? Year-Round.. Turm at the 'Sky Marquee' on Old Woman Springs 1/2 block North of State Rte. 62. For more details call 760-365-2104.

xxxxx'Beulah' I'll be glad when I don't have to look at your ugly face. You're not exactly a Mona Lisa.

Pancho's Ornamental Concrete

Bird Baths xxxxxxxBenches
Water Fountains
Delivery & Installation Available
31725 Hwy. 18, Lucerne Valley, CA 92356 xxxxxx
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